office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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