I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Randomize
