I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Randomize
