First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
If I die, sorry about rent.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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