Can Purell be used as lube?
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Randomize
