Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
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