you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Randomize
