Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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