All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
