i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
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