Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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