We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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