I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
we're making bets on your personal life
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
