She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
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You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
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I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
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