everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
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