good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
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