i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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