Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
