I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
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