like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
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