considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
