I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
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