he wants to bone in the snuggie
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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