i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize
