you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Randomize
