I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize