i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
