Fine. I'll sleep in my office
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
