hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Randomize
