I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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