Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Randomize
