im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
...so i touched it.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Randomize
