i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Randomize
