Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
what is it with giant penises always finding me
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
