Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Randomize
