Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
