Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Swine flu. Run for my life!
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
