Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Randomize
