he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Randomize
