i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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