I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Let's get the cat blown out
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
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