What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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