I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Randomize
