Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
Where is the hickey?
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
that is very illegal...i love you.
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