That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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