I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
