I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
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