where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
