I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
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