be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Randomize
