Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
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what is it with giant penises always finding me
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
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