Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
i would punch a child for taco bell
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
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