So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Randomize
