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• (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."

  (716): View more from New York

  lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.

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• (843): View more from South Carolina

  so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..

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• (416): View more from Ontario

  dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening

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• (701): View more from North Dakota

  Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...

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• (859): View more from Kentucky

  did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring

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• (505): View more from New Mexico

  I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.

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• (919): View more from North Carolina

  For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.

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• (347): View more from New York

  He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.

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• (+27): View more from South Africa

  i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please

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• (260): View more from Indiana

  how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?

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• (719): View more from Colorado

  These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69

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• (408): View more from California

  I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.

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• (937): View more from Ohio

  Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.

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• (715): View more from Wisconsin

  Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good

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• (716): View more from New York

  you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear

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