Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
