There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
