Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
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