The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
