Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
