Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Randomize
