He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
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