I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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