either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
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