Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
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