shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
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