Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Randomize
