There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
