using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize
